<p align=center> Last Update: 1/10/2020 </p>
When a serious and fulfilling relationship breaks after winter, a person might be motivated to think more about what was happening in the past few months. This is after one accepted the fact that the pain is unavoidable, and that nobody other than oneself can alleviate the pain. If for an extended period in a child’s early life, nobody ever formed a meaningful bond with him/her, the child will take it personally. They will not think that the parents or caretakers are busy at their things (in most of the cases) or are merely dismissive, instead, they will think it is their fault. When the child grows up, the adult self is composed of a fragmented personality–the overt, adult self, and the covert, inner child. A substantial number of attachment issues, which in their surface look like problems with other people, can be rooted in the relationship between the person and the inner child.
From multiple perspectives, the notion of inner bonding converges. Healing relationship trauma, dealing with loneliness, or becoming a loving person, are all examples of the suggested outcomes of establishing a relationship with the inner child.
While not coming from a clinical background, I find the theory and practice of working with the inner child quite intriguing. Many societal problems, when analyzed in an individual level, can be attributed to interpersonal relationships that are deeply rooted in one’s relationship with caretakes in early years. The society also deals with profound loneliness. People are feeling less and less connected. There seems to be a need to improve the psychological well-being of people around us, especially in developing countries like my home country. In China, the available mental health resource per person is less than 1% of that of America.
I’ve come to believe that regardless of where we come from, no matter how many resources we can get to support us, ultimately, we are the only ones who can save ourselves. I’m not pessimistic about the kindness of the human race and the fact that a lot of people are happily and deeply bonded to their fellow humans, but I also believe that one who is truly independent is the best candidate for deep bondings with others.